Day 17

My whole body feels like it has been beat up. Throwing up is such a weird full body reaction. I am sore.

However, my mind is a little more active today. It's pouring rain outside so no work today. Just writing and praying.  

I woke up this morning longing for companionship. Or really just human touch. My body hurts and could be soothed by a caring person being with me. It's in these moments when I wonder God, why this long period of not having someone in my life? Why cause my life to be barren in this way? I'm not a monster.

My only request, he be a God loving man. Someone who will let me be in relationship with God and not ridicule me. Someone who loves my curves and my lack of curves. Someone I can trust and someone, I can pray with.  

I won't set intentions about this, other than praying for God's plan. He is a better matchmaker than I am.  

I am watching a show on sacred relics and Christianity. It's making me long for community. A place where believers live. A place where I can feel the magic of God.  

A place where miracles are acknowledged and people pray for them daily. 

Dear God, 

I pray to you to keep sending me signs that you are listening. I'm noticing you more and more each day. I love how you are seeping into my daily life. I'm finding more and more about you that I love.  

Please heal me from pain and feeling sick today. My body is weak from vomiting and a hurt shoulder. I pray you will heal me as I rest and recover.